A comic strip and column about Constance and Conrad, these two crazy cows (technically a cow and a bull) who have settled in the town of Northfield, MN to live in bovinian bliss. A touch of mayhem, occasional scandal, and slapstick cow humor take place in a small college town, while these two settle in among the citizens of Northfield.
‘Green is the new black’, ‘50 is the new 30’ (of that, I am certain)… Is turkey the new red meat? You decide.
I’m a ‘mogetarian’ (mostly vegetarian) - a word I coined to describe my eating habits. Why? You ask... Well, I’ve been known to sneak a shrimp once in a while. I eat cheese, eggs and butter. And, I confess, about once a year I may indulge in a filet mignon (for the love of God, don’t tell Constance and Conrad!). On rare occasions I scarf down a hot dog or brat at a Twin’s Game. See what I mean?
About 4 years ago my mom was hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner. I phoned her to see what I should bring. She said, “Well, let’s see… I’m making a turkey, a pot roast, a duck that your brother shot, and a goose that your uncle shot.” I freaked out… like just how carnivorous do we need to get here?! Right? Everyone else was bringing the salad, sides, snacks, breads, and desserts.
It was the summer of 2006, while living in Northfield, that I had my first fleeting inspiration for Left Field. Driving home from a mural painting gig one night, I glanced at the sign entering town. Hmmm… Colleges, Cows and Contentment… I turned onto Division Street, and passed the Contented Cow Pub. I said to myself “Self, wouldn’t it be funny to have a comic strip about contented cows?” I made some mental notes and filed them away in the recesses of my mind. Until one winter’s eve in 2007. The sky was clear, the moon bright, sparkling soft snow blanketed Northfield. My friend, Lori, and I decided it was the perfect night for a warm bowl of chili and a frosty mug of beer at Froggy Bottom’s. An evening of joy and laughter ensued. Lori introduced me to Rob Schanilec, publisher of the Guide. I semi-jokingly asked if his magazine needed a cartoon strip. I was thrilled when he said he was interested! I unearthed my original ideas, polished them, wrote them, drew them, and BAM! Episode 1: When the Cows Come Home was published on April Fool’s Day in 2008, and the rest is recent history!
Sue Hvistendahl was one of the first fans of Left Field to send in a request. She really wanted a Froggy Bottom’s theme… so, here it is Sue! Thanks for your support, I hope it makes you chuckle.
Constance is constantly scheming... she is the Lucille Ball of cows. Gotta love her entrepreneurial spirit!
After a four month creative summer sabbatical, it’s great to be back with my cows in tow…
Just before my leave of absence I had received fan mail and fun ideas from followers of Left Field. I am excited to announce that I have indeed taken their ideas under my artistic wing. Watch for more Left Field episodes that have been aided and abetted by fellow Northfieldians.
More Left Field News: I have developed Left Field merchandise featuring our lovable duo, Constance and Conrad! Coffee mugs and other items will be available in time for the holiday season, so watch for more information in future issues of the Guide!
Speaking of welcome backs! I wish to extend a special welcome home to my good friend, Lori Williams. After a year away, she is moving back to the Northfield area. Many of you remember Lori for her musical contributions to the entertainment scene in Northfield - singing and playing the sax with her band, Lore, and sharing her beautiful vocal talent at St. Olaf worship services and many other events around town. Glad you’re back, Lore, with kids in tow – just in time for The Defeat of Jesse James Days!
As always, I welcome your ideas and feedback regarding Left Field or my occasionally published Fodder column. sherri.faye@yahoo.com
The term sacred cow has passed into the English language as a colloquialism that refers to an object or practice which is considered immune to criticism, or above reproach. The phrase is based on a popular understanding of the status of cows as 'sacred' in some Asian religions. This sacred status of cows is particularly important in the Hindu religion. Why is this? Because in Hinduism the understanding is that cows contain the souls of the deceased, hence their unwillingness to eat cows for fear of consuming the soul of their long gone Aunt Bessie or Grandmother Gupta. I totally get it. Though Hinduism is a predominant religion in India, it does not mean that everyone in or from India is Hindu, or is living in reverence of bovine creatures. Though, I would like to imagine that if Left Field were published in India, Constance and Conrad would become an uber-popular iconic hero and heroine in Indian culture and folklore – perhaps going so far as to give the beloved Ganesh some competition. Statues, shrines, temples and entire sutras and enchanting chants dedicated to Constance and Conrad would be seen and heard across the land. But, as usual, I digress.
Are Cows Sacred? As creator of Left Field, I suppose that I have indeed come to think so. But, it’s really an individual choice.
Are Cow’s Cowardly? Well, depending on your definition of coward, perhaps. Though, consider how brave they are. After thousands of years of humans ‘mooing’ at them, while driving by in cars, or rickshaws or whatever mode of hoofing around we humans have invented, they still insist on huddling and grazing near roadsides around the globe. It could drive them mad, but they endure somehow. I wonder… is mad cow disease (and there will be an episode about that, believe me) a tangential result of this inane, but irresistible mooing habit that we have? (I confess, I have done it.) Yet those brave, brave cows have seemed to handle it well. If I were a cow I would run screaming (in a moo-scream like fashion) to the opposite end of left field at the mere thought of one more person antagonizing me and my fellow cows with that incessant noise!
While you are out and about in downtown Northfield, enjoy a delightful dining experience at Chapati or the many eateries who provide a satisfying treat for your taste buds… who knows, you just may wind up running into the divine duo. If you do, I challenge you to try not to ‘moo’ at them…
Okay, for those of you old enough to remember the dream sequence/episodes of Dallas, and the whole "Who Shot J.R.?" days... yes, that was partly my inspiration for this 3 part series.
Dairy or Non-Dairy? That Is The Question: Okay, so perhaps that is not what our beloved William Shakespeare had in mind when he scribed the delightfully dark and depressing Hamlet. However, when pondering my 2009 resolutions for the hundredth time, Episode 10 of Left Field begs to question whether or not I should consider this particular issue as part of a perpetually consistent line item on my annually perpetually consistent New Year’s Resolutions list – that of wishing to lose 10 pounds (or so) by incorporating a healthier diet. Generally speaking I make increasingly healthier choices each year. But here I am on the cusp of this all-important decision about dairy products, and on the tail end of an election year no less! It’s all so exhausting. I repeat, dairy or non-dairy? I am hardly lactose intolerant, so that’s not the issue at hand for me. Quite the opposite. Let’s face it, over the years cheese has basically become its own food group in my life - with both ice cream and creamer as not-so-distant sub-categories. In fact, lactose and I are lifelong friends. Yeah, we’re real tight – hanging out like two middle aged saddle-bags. But I digress a la Bridgette Jones’ Dairy.
Alas, my decision has been strongly influenced by the image of Constance or any other strong and healthy dairy cow hanging out ‘at-the-ready’ behind a coffee house counter, providing the fresh-from-the-udder silky, smooth sweetness of fresh cream or milk to my morning cup of “wake-the-heck-up”! I have also read that it is much healthier to consume real dairy products in moderation than it is to partake in the nibbling or imbibing of faux foods, processed or infused with artificial sweeteners, preservatives, strange powders, chemically enhanced substances, etc.... As a result, Numero Uno“Lose 10 pounds or more by fashioning a diet around the cream in my coffee (and the cheese slabs on my saltines).” Followed by an addendum such as: “Consider having coffee with cream and green tea (preferably oolong) on alternating days(small servings of crackers and cheese okay).” That seems like healthy justification to me!
Treat yourself in 2009! Drop in at the Hideaway or any of the other happening beverage bistros in Northfield and grab yourself a mug of your favorite blend of that hot brown beverage we affectionately call coffee, a tall cool fruity concoction, or whatever you define as just your cup of tea. Best of luck to each of us in achieving whatever good things we resolve to do in the coming 12 months. Join me, my shrinking saddle-bags and Constance and Conrad in having the happiest, healthiest New Year ever!
To Contribute or Not to Contribute? What is this? 20 Questions? Nope. Just 2.
Special thanks to my oldest daughter, Erin Dugan, for providing the humorous inspiration for this episode of Left Field. A belated thank you goes to my friend, Lori Williams, who said something that made me laugh, and inspired “Left Field, Episode 9: Got Flight?”, published in December, 2008. Do you have ideas that seem to come from left field that may be just right for Left Field? No matter how vague, off-center, remote or cockamamie they may seem to be, send ‘em in to sherri.faye@yahoo.com. If your idea results in a published comic strip of Left Field, you will receive printed acknowledgement in the Guide, and I just might buy you a cup o’ joe! Remember, drink local.
Artist, writer and basically comfortable with myself. Raised 3 kids who aren' t criminally insane (I once put that on a resume - got the job). Love being a grandma, people say I don't look like one (hey, I made a quilt once, securing my spot in the grandma hall of fame). Enjoy a practical joke.
I'm a 'mogetarian'. ( (c) 1988 Sherri Faye All Rights Reserved ) A word I coined to describe my eating habits - MOSTLY vegetarian, some seafood or chicken, & annual homage to filet mignon. Confession: Quarterly I indulge in scarfing down a whole bag of cheetos. I swear, it's a weird kind of addiction, hence the need for a fix. My theory: a specific concoction of chemicals/preservatives manufactured many years ago in the original cheetos (shelf-life yet to expire) was designed to maintain a satisfactory trace level for approximately 12 weeks. Then BAM! I need my 'chemical-cheese' fix baaad, man! Find a cheetos pimp/dealer fast - Cub, Rainbow, or the gas station. I know, I know, it's a cross I bear. I have yet to find a 12 step program tailored to help with my addiction. And so, I press on...
