Life Is A MasCOWrade
Episode 8 of Left Field
STRANGE (and often masked) BUT TRUE FACTOIDS
Or, Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party
By Sherri Faye ©2008
Can Cows Jump Over the Moon? I would like to know who really came up with that one, and were they under the influence of a suspicious substance at the time? If cows could jump over the moon, we could have huge events around the phenomenon… “Cowlympics” or “Cowflying” for example. I can see it now; it would be bigger than horse racing. We’d all be sitting around sipping Cowtini’s, placing bets on the cows that sound like a winner, like “Got Hoof?” and “Udder Flight”, and observing the soaring leaps of said cows through special binocular-like opera glasses. But, I digress…
Do Cows Attend Masquerade Parties: I personally have not seen it. Though, I have seen plenty of people in those goofy cow costumes. You know, the ones with the big plasticky udders hanging from the belly? I don’t know why, but I laugh every time I see one of those. There is just something perpetually ridiculous about it.
Do Cows Like it When We Dress Up Like Cows? Heck if I know, but I would imagine they would take it as a compliment. Unless, of course, we dressed up as side of beef or a crown roast or something. Hey, I wonder if it’s Hindu-kosher to dress up like a cow? Probably not. Especially if the costume is, again, a side of beef or a crown roast or something. Not that I have ever seen anyone in a beef-based costume such as that. The closest I have seen is someone dressed up like a hot dog or a ‘bloody butcher’… I suspect that neither of those would ‘meat’ with a cow’s approval either. I know, I know, again with the digression…
All this talk about costumes leads me to invite you to join Constance and Conrad in supporting the Northfield Historical Society at their Annual Auction Gala, the MASQUERADE, on Saturday, November 8th at 6:30 pm, at the Northfield Golf Club. Join in the fun and festivities, and let’s see how many cow masks show up!
(c) 2008 Sherri Faye All Rights Reserved.
Buy cool cow crap! Cow gifts for cow fans!
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