Moove Over Jesse
There's A New Kid In Town
Episode 6 of Left Field
Published September 1, 2008 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide
Of Note: Every September the town of Northfield has a weekend blast called "The Defeat of Jesse James Days" which includes a re-enactment of the shoot out. The bullet holes can still be seen in the brick walls (they are circled so you can spot them).
STRANGE (and often rambling) BUT TRUE FACTOIDS
Or Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party
By Sherri Faye ©2008
Can cows paint? Should cows paint? Perhaps. I do seem to recall that several years ago there was a bizarre surge of popularity in paintings done by elephants. These unsuspecting creatures were given the opportunity to become artists when some rather crafty humans placed a brush in the apprehensal trunks of selected elephants. These same humans then strategically placed paints and paper near said trunks. As elephants do, they swung their brush and paint laden trunks to and fro… and viola! We have art! Then these same genius opportunistic homosapiens proceeded to sell these pachyderm paintings for a princely sum. Art? Maybe. Clever? Indeed.
I have a real clever idea: I can see it now! It will be the most successful booth at next year’s Jesse James Days! And, while it may seemingly make little sense, it could perhaps bring in a substantial amount of cents, if done correctly and marketed wisely. Since cows are more easily accessible to humans than are elephants. And since I create a cartoon strip starring a couple of cows (technically a cow and a bull, but, as usual, I digress…) I envision cow art! That’s right, the concept is quite simple really. By placing paint brushes on the end of a cow’s tail, and, making sure that the back end of the completely unawares bovine be very near conveniently located paints and canvas, you too can cash in on cow talent. Key to the success of this project, flies are a must. Simply let loose some flies to bother the cows and presto! Cows will indeed become accidental artists while trying to swat the pesky pests buzzing around their bovinian behinds. All the while, the cows are unwittingly slapping stabs and swashes of color across the canvas, and again… viola! We have a cash-cow! Clearly there are a few minor details to concern yourself with, should you endeavor to make this your life’s work. Beginning with the fact that cow tails are not apprehensal, and ‘ending’ with the fact that this art is produced at the business end of the subjected cows. A probable solution could involve employing the use of duct tape… (Speaking of duct tape… I have seen some amazing art made with duct tape… that could be a whole other booth at Jesse James Days! Who knew?)
Can cows commit crimes and make a career out of graffiti? I think not. Basically, unwanted graffiti is not a desirous form of behavior. It would behoove both cows and persons to choose responsibly when wielding a paint brush. Constance hereby retires her paint brush, never to be used again to commit a crime. Leave the glorified nefarious reputations to crimes and criminals of the past.
See you at The Defeat of Jesse James Days (heretofore aka Cowffiti Constance Crime Spree Days).
(c) 2008 Sherri Faye All Rights Reserved.
Buy cool cow crap! Cow gifts for cow fans!
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