Got Flight?
Episode 9 of Left Field
Published Dec. 1, 2008 in the Northfield Entertainment GuideSTRANGE (and sometimes airborne) BUT TRUE FACTOIDS
Or, Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party
By Sherri Faye ©2008
Can Reindeer Fly? Once again, I would like to know who really came up with that one, and were they under the influence of the same suspicious substance as those nursery rhyme writers? If reindeer could fly we could have huge events around that phenomenon… in addition to the antics surrounding “Cowlympics” or “Cowflying”. Here we would be placing bets and chillin’ at Santabury Downs. Can you picture it? Again, it would be bigger than horse racing. And it would certainly be great competition for the “Cowlympics”. We’d all be sitting around sipping ReinBeer, placing bets on the tiny little hooven critters with names like “Antlerticipation” and “Deer Santa”, observing the soaring flight of said deer through those same special binocular-like opera glasses. But, I digress…
Would Cows be Jealous of Flying Reindeer? Perhaps. It certainly could launch a competition never before seen by us humans – quite possibly far worse than the mudslinging in contentious political elections! The cows would even be vying for jobs at the North Pole. They could really lay it on thick, enticing Santa with fresh milk to wash down all those darn cookies… taking the ad campaign “Got Milk?” to greater heights than the originators of that concept ever imagined. Cowlympics and Christmas Gift Delivery with complimentary milk. The “Wally the Beer Man’s” of the world could be shouting “Get Yer Milk Here!” Heck, you can’t even get free milk in this day and age on a modern airline flight!
What then, would the poor little reindeer have as their edge? I suppose it would be their size, and known history for taking flight. After all, they have been known to fly in front of the moon on greeting card images. And there is that fluke, Rudolph, with the glowing nose (which could be an indicator of massive amounts of alcohol consumption). The tiny reindeer could start a fear-based campaign in retaliation. Homeowners insurance company’s across the land backing ads that show slogans of “It all started with Cowlympics…) - simulated scenes of cows crashing through roofs, destroying property, taking Santa’s gift-laden sleigh down with them. Here, the reindeer campaign could take full advantage of the old adage “Size Does Matter”… And of course they would address “Mad Cow Disease” like there’s no tomorrow. Then it could get really ugly, the ensuing backlash from the Cowlympic Camp would be all about “Chronic Wasting Disease” depicting emaciated reindeer attempting to fly in races in the sky... people standing around with their empty pockets sticking out of their trousers, losing money on investments and bets. Then those same feeble reindeer would be depicted as unable to get that red sled of the ground on Christmas Eve! Oh the insanity! But, again, I digress… must wake up from nightmare….
Back to reality! I really need to try harder to stay on topic… but what fun would that be? I ask you. If want to go see some reindeer and speculate on their ability to fly, join those two lovable hoofers from Left Field at WINTER WALK on Dec. 6th, from 6-9 p.m. for fun, festivities and fabulous discounts at participating stores and merchants in Downtown Northfield! Moo-moo-moo! Happy Cowlidays!
(c) 2008 Sherri Faye All Rights Reserved.
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