Requiem For A Cream
Episode 10 of Left Field
Published Jan. 1, 2009 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide
STRANGE BUT TRUE FACTOIDS
Or, Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party
By Sherri Faye ©2009
Dairy or Non-Dairy? That Is The Question: Okay, so perhaps that is not what our beloved William Shakespeare had in mind when he scribed the delightfully dark and depressing Hamlet. However, when pondering my 2009 resolutions for the hundredth time, Episode 10 of Left Field begs to question whether or not I should consider this particular issue as part of a perpetually consistent line item on my annually perpetually consistent New Year’s Resolutions list – that of wishing to lose 10 pounds (or so) by incorporating a healthier diet. Generally speaking I make increasingly healthier choices each year. But here I am on the cusp of this all-important decision about dairy products, and on the tail end of an election year no less! It’s all so exhausting. I repeat, dairy or non-dairy? I am hardly lactose intolerant, so that’s not the issue at hand for me. Quite the opposite. Let’s face it, over the years cheese has basically become its own food group in my life - with both ice cream and creamer as not-so-distant sub-categories. In fact, lactose and I are lifelong friends. Yeah, we’re real tight – hanging out like two middle aged saddle-bags. But I digress a la Bridgette Jones’ Dairy.
Alas, my decision has been strongly influenced by the image of Constance or any other strong and healthy dairy cow hanging out ‘at-the-ready’ behind a coffee house counter, providing the fresh-from-the-udder silky, smooth sweetness of fresh cream or milk to my morning cup of “wake-the-heck-up”! I have also read that it is much healthier to consume real dairy products in moderation than it is to partake in the nibbling or imbibing of faux foods, processed or infused with artificial sweeteners, preservatives, strange powders, chemically enhanced substances, etc.... As a result, Numero Uno“Lose 10 pounds or more by fashioning a diet around the cream in my coffee (and the cheese slabs on my saltines).” Followed by an addendum such as: “Consider having coffee with cream and green tea (preferably oolong) on alternating days(small servings of crackers and cheese okay).” That seems like healthy justification to me!
Treat yourself in 2009! Drop in at the Hideaway or any of the other happening beverage bistros in Northfield and grab yourself a mug of your favorite blend of that hot brown beverage we affectionately call coffee, a tall cool fruity concoction, or whatever you define as just your cup of tea. Best of luck to each of us in achieving whatever good things we resolve to do in the coming 12 months. Join me, my shrinking saddle-bags and Constance and Conrad in having the happiest, healthiest New Year ever!
To Contribute or Not to Contribute? What is this? 20 Questions? Nope. Just 2.
Special thanks to my oldest daughter, Erin Dugan, for providing the humorous inspiration for this episode of Left Field. A belated thank you goes to my friend, Lori Williams, who said something that made me laugh, and inspired “Left Field, Episode 9: Got Flight?”, published in December, 2008. Do you have ideas that seem to come from left field that may be just right for Left Field? No matter how vague, off-center, remote or cockamamie they may seem to be, send ‘em in to sherri.faye@yahoo.com. If your idea results in a published comic strip of Left Field, you will receive printed acknowledgement in the Guide, and I just might buy you a cup o’ joe! Remember, drink local.
(c) 2009 Sherri Faye All Rights Reserved.
Buy cool cow crap! Cow gifts for cow fans!
No comments:
Post a Comment