Left Field Comic: Sacred Coward

Sacred Coward

Episode 13 of Left Field

Published Apr. 1, 2009 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

STRANGE BUT TRUE (and often rambling) FACTOIDS

Or, Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

The term sacred cow has passed into the English language as a colloquialism that refers to an object or practice which is considered immune to criticism, or above reproach. The phrase is based on a popular understanding of the status of cows as 'sacred' in some Asian religions. This sacred status of cows is particularly important in the Hindu religion. Why is this? Because in Hinduism the understanding is that cows contain the souls of the deceased, hence their unwillingness to eat cows for fear of consuming the soul of their long gone Aunt Bessie or Grandmother Gupta. I totally get it. Though Hinduism is a predominant religion in India, it does not mean that everyone in or from India is Hindu, or is living in reverence of bovine creatures. Though, I would like to imagine that if Left Field were published in India, Constance and Conrad would become an uber-popular iconic hero and heroine in Indian culture and folklore – perhaps going so far as to give the beloved Ganesh some competition. Statues, shrines, temples and entire sutras and enchanting chants dedicated to Constance and Conrad would be seen and heard across the land. But, as usual, I digress.

Are Cows Sacred? As creator of Left Field, I suppose that I have indeed come to think so. But, it’s really an individual choice.

Are Cow’s Cowardly? Well, depending on your definition of coward, perhaps. Though, consider how brave they are. After thousands of years of humans ‘mooing’ at them, while driving by in cars, or rickshaws or whatever mode of hoofing around we humans have invented, they still insist on huddling and grazing near roadsides around the globe. It could drive them mad, but they endure somehow. I wonder… is mad cow disease (and there will be an episode about that, believe me) a tangential result of this inane, but irresistible mooing habit that we have? (I confess, I have done it.) Yet those brave, brave cows have seemed to handle it well. If I were a cow I would run screaming (in a moo-scream like fashion) to the opposite end of left field at the mere thought of one more person antagonizing me and my fellow cows with that incessant noise!

While you are out and about in downtown Northfield, enjoy a delightful dining experience at Chapati or the many eateries who provide a satisfying treat for your taste buds… who knows, you just may wind up running into the divine duo. If you do, I challenge you to try not to ‘moo’ at them…