Left Field Comic: March 2010

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Define Happiness

Define Happiness

Episode 21 of Left Field

Published Apr. 1, 2010 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Happy cows come from California? Seriously, I can’t be the only one around here who finds this slightly absurd. It’s one thing to air that commercial on the west coast and surrounding areas. But here? Right next to the beating heart of “America’s Dairyland”? Apparently the marketing genius behind that ad campaign has not heard of Wisconsin. They must stick their head under a seaside rock when the close up of a Wisconsin license plate is magnified about a thousand times in “That 70’s Show” reruns. Clearly California has some nice things about it, but “Happy cows come from California.” is a bald faced lie. Do they have cheese huts every 5 feet? I think not. Do cows thrive in sand dunes? Nope. They are blissful in dells and pastures. Everyone knows that Dairy Queen’s roots are in the Midwest, not Napa Valley. California has enough. Now they are trying to abscond with our dairy business? Hey! California! You have wonderful wine and dancing raisins! You have Gilroy, the garlic capital of the world! You have Oxnard (seriously, who names a town Oxnard – an under-tapped resource for jokes if you ask me), famous for artichoke production! You have Disneyland! Fine, go ahead and have your own cows, but keep your attempts to monopolize milk consumers to your own crumbling corner

of the world! Let us have our dairy foothold, for Pete’s sake. What next? Elbow Georgia out of peaches and peanuts? Bump Vermont out of the maple syrup industry? Whew… Okay, I’m done. I just had to get that off of my chest, now I feel better. I’ve found that letting go of anger minimizes wrinkles and prevents ulcers. Define your happiness, speak your truth, be ulcer-free, support local farmers! - Peace

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Brand Name

Brand Name

Episode 20 of Left Field

Published Mar. 1, 2010 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

What’s the big deal with brand names anyway? When it comes to couture or material goods, I couldn’t possibly care less. What matters most to me is whether or not I like it. Does it suit me? Does it say “This is totally Sherri Faye”? Maybe it’s being over 50, but I really don’t give a rip about what the latest fashion is, or what anybody else thinks about what I wear, what I drive, or how I style my hair. I never have really cared too much, as long is I was being true to myself and my own style. I have always been my own person. There is a certain kind of comfortable, priceless freedom in that.

When I moved back from California, I fetched my Dodge Intrepid (which I loved) from Winterhaven Ranch where it had been safely stowed during my ‘sabbatical’. On my way home the engine fried out. So, from another location I retrieved a long abandoned ’93 Olds I had gotten for one of my daughters when she was an undergrad at the U (the condition and circumstances that I found that car in is a whole other story… involving mice). I wasn’t bothered that I was now driving a slightly dented, run-down version of what I originally purchased… however, I soon realized I needed to ‘brand’ that car as mine. Since I also paint murals, I chose to make this little clunker work for me. I cleaned it up, tuned it up and made it into an art car, painting a “Strawberry Fields Forever” motif on the whole doggone vehicle! It gets the best reactions - people wave, give me the peace sign, and say “Cool car!” What makes me happy is that I like my car, and I truly enjoy communicating positively with interesting people. My silly art car is now part of my ‘brand’ – it’s an extension of who I am. It’s the perfect catalyst for entertaining, joyful exchanges with folks who appreciate it. My car has gotten me a few painting gigs (not to mention a couple of dates) to boot!

My branded car matches my personality and my tattoo theme of birds and, you guessed it, strawberries! Just like art cars, tattoos aren’t for everyone. But, unlike scars, they can be chosen. Mine serve as footnotes, demarking specific, sometimes profound, times in my life - which includes a 20 year stint in the Navy.

I yam what I yam, and that’s my own brand. And I like it.

Be the brand you wish to see in the world, and you will make it a better place by being you!

Aided and Abetted by Sandy Budziak.

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MiSTEAKen Identity

MiSTEAKen Identity

Episode 19 of Left Field

Published Feb. 1, 2010 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

Dreams are funny things. Some people claim to not dream at all – or at least have no recollection of them. I have very vivid dreams that punctuate my slumber. Most so bizarre, if taken literally, seem completely absurd. I’ve gotten pretty good at interpreting my dreams though. I believe they are a subconscious effort to raise our fears, hopes, (and… ahem… dreams) to a conscious level. Dreams can help us sort through the complexities of life and may even help us prepare for inevitable or probable future events. I don’t live by my dreams, but I do use them as tools to help make sense of things from time to time.

About fifteen years ago I dreamt that I won the lottery! My now ex-husband shook me awake, mistaking my screams of joy for nightmarish shrieking. I blurted out “WRITE DOWN THESE NUMBERS! XXXXXX etc…!” (Dream on, I am not revealing them). I can’t remember them exactly. And, you’re not gonna believe it, he didn’t write them down! (No, that’s not why we split up, but it was definitely a red flag). I have been trying to recall those elusive digits ever since. Every once in a while when I think I am close, I buy a lotto ticket. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

Aided and Abetted by " Gus the Bus (technically a van) Driver".

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Cow Pie

Cow Pie

Episode 18 of Left Field

Published Jan. 1, 2010 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

Epicurean delights indeed. Having raised and cooked for 6 kids, 2 ex-husbands and a few former boyfriends (no, not simultaneously) and their children, and innumerable guests, I’ve logged in countless stovetop hours and produced a gazillion meals. I can cook, bake, or create most anything for just about any size crowd. A flair for creativity and inventiveness enables me to prepare a decent meal out of next to nothing, if need be.

I picked up most of my chefly skills by hanging around my grandma Geraldine’s farm kitchen as a child. Wishing to make a dessert and lacking the usual ingredients, I once watched my resourceful grandma “throw together” a tasty, unique oven baked creation she called "peanut butter pie".

My personal best-in-show: The 1988 salmon soufflé for husband no. 2. It’s the first and last soufflé I have ever made. Why? Because it was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. perfect. I choose to ‘let it be’.

My “Don’t Ever Make that Again”: Well now, that’s a toss between

1. The Thanksgiving Day Massacre (a.k.a. the ‘oyster stuffing incident’) of 1992 (we lived in Virginia Beach, and 'When in Rome…') and

2. The ‘orange meringue pie experiment’ made with Tang (circa 1973). My little brother was the guinea pig for that epicurean experiment gone awry. The poor kid. Hey, I was 14 years old and Tang was the ‘food for the astronauts’! What’s your excuse?

My next mission: Operation Tastebud 2010; kitchen-test ‘cow pie’.

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Friday, March 5, 2010

Sign Language

Sign Language

Episode 17 of Left Field

Published Dec. 1, 2009 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

This is my second winter back in Minnesota since a year and a half ‘self-appointed working sabbatical’ in San Diego. Though I enjoyed my time in southern California, I longed for a real winter. Something fell flat for me with the sameness of it all. It was like a SoCal version of the movie “Groundhog Day”: 72 degrees, sunny, same stinkin’ palm tree waving outside my window day after day… I kept checking my pulse to make sure I was still alive, and not in some sort of waiting room on the ‘other side’. The only thing missing was elevator music. The holiday’s without snow? New Year’s Eve in Bermuda shorts and flip-flops? The thrill was gone.

I love winter. Going for quiet, whispering walks on clear, moonlit nights - the snow glittering like diamond dust. A hushed sense of anticipation permeates the world while surprises quietly incubate beneath snowdrifts, awaiting a magical spring reveal. These images come to mind when I think of the Winter Walk. No more palm trees annoying the crap out of this Minnesota girl and I couldn’t be happier! I plan to hoof it to Winter Walk - see you there, or somewhere, in greater Northfield.

Special thanks to Sue and Anna Hansen for inspiring this episode of Left Field.

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W.W.C.D.?

W.W.C.D.?

What Would Cows Do?

Episode 16 of Left Field

Published Nov. 1, 2009 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Simply Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

‘Green is the new black’, ‘50 is the new 30’ (of that, I am certain)…
Is turkey the new red meat? You decide.

I’m a ‘mogetarian’ (mostly vegetarian) - a word I coined to describe my eating habits. Why? You ask... Well, I’ve been known to sneak a shrimp once in a while. I eat cheese, eggs and butter. And, I confess, about once a year I may indulge in a filet mignon (for the love of God, don’t tell Constance and Conrad!). On rare occasions I scarf down a hot dog or brat at a Twin’s Game. See what I mean?

About 4 years ago my mom was hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner. I phoned her to see what I should bring. She said, “Well, let’s see… I’m making a turkey, a pot roast, a duck that your brother shot, and a goose that your uncle shot.” I freaked out… like just how carnivorous do we need to get here?! Right? Everyone else was bringing the salad, sides, snacks, breads, and desserts.

What was left? More meat?

I brought a rubber chicken.

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Feelin' Froggy?

Feelin' Froggy

Episode 15 of Left Field

Published Oct. 1, 2009 in the Northfield Entertainment Guide

Froggy Fodder for Your Next Cocktail Party

It was the summer of 2006, while living in Northfield, that I had my first fleeting inspiration for Left Field. Driving home from a mural painting gig one night, I glanced at the sign entering town. Hmmm… Colleges, Cows and Contentment… I turned onto Division Street, and passed the Contented Cow Pub. I said to myself “Self, wouldn’t it be funny to have a comic strip about contented cows?” I made some mental notes and filed them away in the recesses of my mind. Until one winter’s eve in 2007. The sky was clear, the moon bright, sparkling soft snow blanketed Northfield. My friend, Lori, and I decided it was the perfect night for a warm bowl of chili and a frosty mug of beer at Froggy Bottom’s. An evening of joy and laughter ensued. Lori introduced me to Rob Schanilec, publisher of the Guide. I semi-jokingly asked if his magazine needed a cartoon strip. I was thrilled when he said he was interested! I unearthed my original ideas, polished them, wrote them, drew them, and BAM! Episode 1: When the Cows Come Home was published on April Fool’s Day in 2008, and the rest is recent history!

Sue Hvistendahl was one of the first fans of Left Field to send in a request. She really wanted a Froggy Bottom’s theme… so, here it is Sue! Thanks for your support, I hope it makes you chuckle.

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